Monday, June 19, 2017

A Loss Person

Fasting

Its controlling yourself from thirst and hunger.
Commonly used

I grew up in a family that eats rice for sahur.
and we still do

I am a young adult now.
I am fasting

I questioned myself, what I have benefited from fasting.

I lost weight.
Regained everything in three days of Eid.

Why am I fasting again?
Allah told me too.

Can I go one day without fasting? On purpose?
What will happen?

I thought of it.
Yes, I did.

I didnt do it because thankfully I am STILL AFRAID OF HIM.
I continue fasting.

 I pray.
 I pray hard.
 It all start in 2016.

Because I realize the beauty of Ramadan at 23.

I realized Allah has fulfilled everything I ask for.
So, what should I ask this year.
Why I dont feel like asking him anything? Why?
Am I that great?

I am not at peace. I am a sinful slave.
I am being punish.
I am not reminded by him to pray to him.

I loss the diamond looking at the pearl.

This is Nik Camelia Al Haded, over and out.



Friday, June 2, 2017

What Do I wanT in this Life

I was asked this question, out of the blue, by a friend of mine.


Then I said.

Thats a deep question and it is so sudden. I am stunned.
I say MONEY. At this age, all I care is money. Because that is what we need in order for us to do other things.

OBVIOUSLY, it was a joke.
semi-joke

Then, spontaneously, I answered his question.


I want HAPPINESS.
Happiness in the sense that, we are happy to be a muslim, we do as He say. We ask for his blessings
Happy by making other people happy.
and assume our solar system, the SUN as happiness. and we always rotate it.

When its night time, we are going through our rough time.
Some nights are longer than other nights.
We have to deal with it.
and believe, at the end of it, we will see the sun rising.

and we are ok.
there will always be night and day.
meaning that, no one will go through life without tough time.
some may dont see the sun light as the day is cloud. some may experience longer daylight, more sunlight and unexpected cold and dark night.

hmm. LIFE.

then I realize,

I want a fulfilling life.
Thats my answer.

This is Nik Camelia Al Haded, went deep.
over and out.

Assalamualaikum.